From Ibiza With Love

Awaken Your Soul in Ibiza felt unique. My initial retreat in Costa Rica was incredible; it opened a portal to my soul I wasn't aware of. I now realize there was always a door, welcoming me to enter, but I had locked it and misplaced the keys. Costa Rica was raw and intense, exactly what I needed to start healing. It helped me see how stress and pain manifested in my body, and I've spent the past year uncovering and healing that pain. Ibiza was gentle and soothing, like a slow-moving river. We delved deeply into the heart after exploring the first three chakras. Initially, this frightened me. Why revisit old wounds I'd spent a year healing? Had I not healed? Did I trust a flawed process? These questions are valid, and I am reminded that healing is an ongoing journey. To progress, we sometimes need to revisit pain with fresh eyes. Awaken Your Soul opened my eyes and mind, and this week, it opened my heart.

The heart was intricately woven into every moment of this week with beautiful intention. Not having a set schedule and learning to trust what unfolds was a lesson many of us initially struggled with. Trusting our guide during a hike back from Es Vedra, which didn't go as planned, left us momentarily lost, but we found our way down the mountain to an empowering example of sisterhood. Swimming in Es Vedra's sacred waters, many of us topless or unclothed, felt safe. Sharing our deepest heartbreaks and being embraced by 18 other women and the land itself was a form of worship. The food, a gift of nourishment and love from the land and the hands of three loving women. The music, guiding us through emotions, held our hand as we walked through the body's flames to be embraced by the heart. The physical structures and land held us in centuries of prayer. Tuning in was natural and effortless. The meditations, mantras, yoga practices—all brought clarity and a portal to my true self, my sat nam.

The women drawn to this retreat are truly magical. The retreat wouldn't be the same without them; they create a safe space. They are sisters, and for someone with two biological sisters, I know the trust and relationships with these women are more than friendships. Our souls connect and feel at home together. Their pain, love, joy, and sadness mirror mine. The connection continues to grow even after returning home. When I plateau and seek inspiration, they're there. When I feel like giving up, they listen. When I want to celebrate, they're cheering me on. They are the shimmer on the sand when the sun shines on the beach. The beach would still exist without it, but the beauty and magic come from the shimmer.

The magic isn't confined to our minds. Photos and videos resurrect the experience, transforming memories into constants. Our incredible Monica captures not just moments but the purity and essence of every woman. She offers a mirror for each woman to remember who they are and why they chose this journey. This work is challenging, not always pretty, and doesn't feel like rose petals on your skin. Having these visuals and embodied movement to return to is essential. It's the bookmark, holding space for you to return to the "magick."

This retreat wouldn't exist without Danielle, not just because she created it but because her energy and guidance are transformative. She guides each woman through remembering their darkest moments, leading the way into and out of the woods. Danielle is more than a spiritual advisor; she's a true listener. She holds space for our journeys, embracing each of us with light, compassion, and love. Her ability to create a safe space for us to discover ourselves is art. Each moment is intentionally crafted to embody love. She embraces all of you, beyond the Instagram-worthy parts. I am deeply grateful for her.

There are memories that will remain with me daily, both bringing me back to breath. In our practices, we often breathed in through the nose and out through the mouth with a sigh. That sigh has relaxed my entire body. I notice softening in areas I thought were already soft. My shoulders drop, my jaw loosens, and my mind quiets. I thought I was breathing before, but a dear friend from the retreat taught me how to truly breathe, without knowing it. She sighs through life, her emotions evident in every breath. Her sighs convey joy, sadness, release, exhaustion. Each one is a magical reminder to fully breathe with my entire body. To inhale life and exhale love. It's a beautiful gift she gives unknowingly.

I often think back to our closing circle, the conclusion to an enchanting week. For our final practice, we gathered in "the womb" and chanted Ra Ma Da Sa, envisioning each woman and sending her love. The impact was powerful and regenerative. Feeling the love of all twenty women directed towards me was initially overwhelming, then became pure comfort. Giving this gift back to each woman was an honor, shaping my perspective on expressing love to those around me. Not just saying it, but showing it with my entire being.

Costa Rica was transformative, showing me the path to rediscover who I am. Ibiza was the bloom, and this is only the beginning. It's time to observe how relationships unfold—romantic, friendships, and most importantly, with myself.

On the last day, each woman drew an Oracle card. When I saw mine, "The Fertile Void," I was initially disappointed. It felt like a brick through stained glass, hollow and confusing. As I processed this, I realized it represents silent growth, letting go, holding space. It's about hidden growth and patience, recovery, rest, and trust. This card embodies the softness and tenderness of Ibiza that continues to mature within me. It's silent peace, quiet ease, and the beginning of my greatest love story with myself. It was the perfect reminder to be less in my head and more in my heart. It signifies the retreat's purpose and serves as a reminder of the beautiful land and people I connected with, who will always remain in my heart.